As we get ready to celebrate the 21^st Century’s ultimate Reading band, it’s time to look back on those bands who never quite fit the bill. From pop fads and glitzy rappers, to famous children and one hit wonders; Reading and Leeds have had their fill of bizarre bookings, and today we take the time out to celebrate the Top 10 Least Likely Reading bands.

We start, however, with some honourable mentions: 

I Blame Coco: Sting’s daughter delivered an array of over produced and entirely uninspired synth pop singles in 2010; Marina and The Diamonds (the Festival Republic Headliner) showed IBC how to inject some personality in her performance later that day.

Mindless Self Indulgence: Okay so MSI are actually quite Reading; they’re ironic, funny, and pretty rocky, but they one thing they most certainly are not is suitable replacement for both Slipknot and Avenged Sevenfold.

50 Cent: Fiddy wasn’t actually too far removed from previous Reading rap success stories like Xzibit, but his shameless commercialism and his hideously cheesy hit “21 Questions” ensured a rough reception for the G-Unit leader.

The Rasmus: In the shadows may have made The Rasmus look like Scandinavian angsty rockers, but the Reading crowd knew better.

Lady Soveign: Sov was actually a huge hit at Reading, and she had some indie dance floor credentials (“So Human”, “Love Me Or Hate Me”), but upon her debut quirky pop hits “Random” and “9 to 5” set her apart as a real outsider.

Now the pretenders are out of the way it’s time to sink our teeth into the top top.

10. The Pipettes (2007 Main Stage)

I’m a huge fan of the Pipettes (original line up), they were willfully nostalgic but they captured the snap and energy of classic the 60s girl groups. However, with their three part harmonies and cutesy dance routines they couldn’t have looked more out of place in front of the sweaty masses patiently awaiting the boorish indie of Little Man Tate. Regardless, only the most stubborn of fans managed to resist clapping along to “Pull Shapes”.

9. Chipmunk (2009 Dance Tent)

It takes a brave 17-year-old to face the Reading audience, especially if they happen to be the type of teenager who likes commercial gimmick laden rap. Chipmunk wasn’t bottled, and got through his set admirably; quite the achievement considering he didn’t have a number one hit back then, and he was best known among rock fans as that kid who sang “Chip Diddy Chip”.

8. Just Jack (2003 Smirnoff Dance Arena)

In 2003 The Streets was the hottest name in the music industry, and Reading was looking to load the Dance Tent with post-garage acts, and Just Jack remarkably fit the bill. He was a little cooler back in 2003, but only a little, and there were high hopes for the mundane MOR rapper. Unsurprisingly, he wouldn’t be invited back, he’d go on on to become a regular at V festival.

7. Keane (2003 Carling Stage)

Love them or hate them balladeers Keane can hardly be considered a Reading band, in fact, during the mid-2000s Keane were the butt of practically every Reading goers jokes. It was no exaggeration to say that you hear at least once or twice a festival: “this bands shit but at least their not Keane” or that eternal gem “God they’re almost as boring as Keane”.

Most of Keane’s problems stemmed form their lack of guitar and the band’s “soft” image, they actually aren’t that far removed from a tradition Reading band sonically, but for a long time they were public enemy number one. Unsurprisingly they quickly found a home at V, Isle Of Wight and Glastonbury, and haven’t returned to Reading since.

6. Travis (2001 Main Stage Headliner)

Travis are actually Reading veterans, they’ve played the festival three times, and to be honest the idea of the downbeat Scottish pop stars playing the festival was never all that strange. However, all that good will was wiped away in 2003 when the band were booked to headline, suddenly people stopped ignoring Travis, and in union uttered three words: “What…The…Fuck”.

Green Day subbed delivering a fondly remembered set, whereas Travis have simply disappeared from Reading history, as if we all signed a secret agreement  never to speak of their set again. Poor guys, they’ve never been invited back since, and one suspects they never will be.

5. Babybird (2000 Carling Stage Headliner)

Like Travis and Keane, Babybird isn’t too far removed from the Reading aesthetic sonically, but he’s a million miles away from Reading in spirit, and you can’t help but feel his sole booking (and headline slot) had a lot more to do with the sleaze ball anthem “Your Gorgeous” than it did with his long standing career.

Fun Fact: Babybird headlined above Kenickie star and BBC Radio personality Lauren Laverne, man, eleven years is a long time. Who to be fair, are probably an even less likely Reading band than Babybird (just listen to “In Your Car”), so let’s call this a two for one special.

 4. Utah Saints (2000 Radio One Evening Session Stage)

Bizarrely, Utah Saints found themselves warming the Radio One stage up for the brilliant Elliott Smith and legendary Ian Brown.  The Saints were a big deal in the 90s distilling the explosive creativity of 90s and 80s rave and house scenes down into a killer instinct-esque arena house sound with huge hits “Feeling Good” and “Believe In Me”. The Saints sound was always on the garish end of the spectrum and to this day they’ve never quite sat comfortably on the Reading line up.

3. Scissor Sisters (2003 Smirnoff Dance Arena)

Jake Shears and Ana Matronic were actually more Reading than you’d probably expect. Back in 2003, they represented the drug fuelled hedonism of the G-A-Y club circuit, and with tracks like “Flithy/Gorgeous”, “Electrobix”, and a cover of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” they seemed to fit the bill for Reading’s Dance tent.

The only problem? “Take Your Mama”, “Laura” and a second album stuff full of smultzy pop singles (“I Don’t Like Dancing” in particular) were waiting right around the corner, transforming the Sisters into one of the least likely Reading bands in history.

2. Daphne & Celeste (2000 Main Stage)

You all knew this was coming right? I actually think this set was more of a joke at Reading’s expense than Daphne & Celeste’s, as they band got through their set relatively unscathed despite bottles, urine, food, inflatable couches, shit and a shed load of mud being slung in their direction. The crowd chanted “Bollocks” and “Die” repeatedly, but the girls came out the other side in good spirits, and played along ironically. Despite all this, Daphne and Celeste couldn’t be less Reading if they tried, just listen to “U-G-L-Y”, “School’s Out” and “Oh Stick You”.

1. The Black Eyed Peas (2000 Dance Stage)

Okay I lied, there is one way a band could be less Reading than Daphne and Celeste, you can have absolutely no sense of humour. Whatever you think of D&C’s obnoxious 90s pop, one thing is certain: it was a joke, the girls knew it, the crowd knew it, their producers knew it. It was all a short lived bit of fun.

Will.I.am, on the other hand, takes everything deadly seriously. The BEP present their music as if it’s a revolutionary cultural and political force, even as they peddle some of the most brain dead indebted tripe imaginable.

Now, before everyone gets mad, it has to be said that The Black Eyed Peas of the year 2000 (pre-Fergie) were a more credible, and far less obnoxious outfit, but lets face it, if you asked 100 Reading goers to name as many Reading bands of the last decade as they possible could, I bet not even one would utter the words “Black Eyed Peas”. They just aren’t Reading, they are diametrically opposed to Reading, and for all D&C’s failings they are a part of Reading history, occupying urban myth status. Reading wouldn’t be Reading without them, whereas The Black Eyed Peas (especially now) will never be Reading.