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Future Rust, And Future Dust #28: An Indie Christmas

Ho, Yo, Lo.

It is the time of year to dance around in your Santa underwear and snowman jumpers, why? Because this week I am giving you indie gone Christmas, get the mulled wine and slow dance with your granny, my friend? Reader? Whatever are you?

Anyway it is Christmas in less than five days (well in time format) and Future Dust, And Future Rust shall be all things Christmas indie, five! Please do high five the screen with your chocolate fingers, I most certainly am not, but it would be nice even if just one person did it.

I for one adore the cringe inducing jumpers all winter I love my heavy knits. I am currently in the process of stitching jingle bells onto the arms of my jumper. Jingle all the way.

*Have yourself a Merry little indie Christmas, and Happy Hanukkah*

Top five things to do on Christmas day

Eat your greens Oh yes statistics say Christmas dinner is the one time of year that people eat their five-a-day. I agree I rarely eat five a week, let alone a day. Now buckle up, or unbuckle those jeans and fill your face with green food, remember to add lots of butter to make the food less healthy.

You must remember to smile when the meat eaters point and laugh at you as you tuck into a nut roast (be sure to flash them to yum smile) then payback time when come a few hours later the turkey sweats start to appear down their face (be sure to flash them your yum smile)

Baileys for breakfast - Yes you heard me right, if you are from a family that will find this shocking, ask anyone if they would like a tea or coffee, and shove a shot of Baileys in your mug, no one will expect a thing. Unless of course 5 mugs of tea before dinner leaves you feeling a little wonky, just be sure to scream ‘‘its Christmas’’ to anyone who dares question your drunk feet.

Wear Christmas Jumpers - The point of Christmas is to embarrass yourself in front of your family, save all the ‘I Love You’‘ for your Gran before going to bed drunk. In the daytime, wear the reindeer jumper; embrace the silly gifts of three pairs of slippers by wearing them all at once. Make sure to take lots of photos, and then give away the photos away for next years Christmas present to the most embarrassing member of family.

Do not watch TV - Unless you would like to find yourself slogging on the sofa watching some screaming people with fake cockney accent? Then be my guest, turn the TV off, put the jingles on and stand away, grab the little members of the family and dance to your very own Indie Christmas playlist.

Become a nerd - Nerd out, doing geeky things like measuring the weight of the pulling crackers, no one really wants the mini deck of cards do they? Screw drivers every year for me; How? Hold the crackers in your hands and weigh, your mother will thank you for being a great child, when in fact you are placing the best stuff for yourself. Wear the colourful party hat during dinner, wear your hair up (girls) become the Queen of the table, sit straight and avoid eye contact with the ‘commoners’.

Please do not attempted to play with the children’s toys, my brother has the Lego attacks if anyone even dares breathes over his precious castle, I have plans to bring my mallet this year. 

2011′s best Indie Christmas cover song..

Dog Is Dead – Christmas Wrapping (The Waitress Cover)

How is it not possible not to smile while listening to this version of the classic Christmas song ‘Christmas Wrapping,’ Dog Is Dead may not have strayed away from The Waitress with this cover, but what  aboutthe snow? ‘Christmas Wrapping‘ is just melting away in rocking coolness, Robert’s voice is truly beautiful.

You can download this version for free on the Dog Is Dead website. 

Summer Camp also covered ‘Christmas Wrapping’ last year for the Moshi Moshi Christmas EP, possible one of the best Lo-Fi versions.

The Maccabees – Home Alone medley

The Maccabees did a session with Zane Lowe of talks to fast for people follow the Reading and Leeds line up fame, be prepared to be charmed away effortlessly with The Maccabees. I for one will be adding this to my Christmas playlist.

The Classic

The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – Fairytale Of New York

No Christmas is Christmas without The Pogues, my Granddad’s personal favourite, Guinness and pink pig sorry I mean Gammon in his kitchen sink before Christmas.  I remember someone trying to make ‘Fairytale Of New York’ very PC and replacing the naughty words with some other blanking words, I was not impressed, I liked saying slut (still do) as a kid without a finger in my face. Now come on, turn up and sing your heart out so loud the neighbours will join you from the garden. Pogues are Christmas.

Personal Favourite

John Lennon – Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

Who would have thought a protest song about the Vietnam War would go on years and years later as one of the best Christmas songs in existence?

I wish the youth of today would find time to listen and ponder while they sit there on Christmas day of hundreds of pounds of goodies while other children are starving with no clothes and water, come on we are all guilty of taking something for granted, now enjoy Christmas.

‘An eye of an eye will make us blind’ - Mahatma Gandhi

The Wannabe Christmas number one 2011

Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

Like ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ needs any introduction, switch on, rock out and remember to purchase, actually I don’t know, do you think Kurt Cobain would be twitching in his grave? Then again, just look at The Smiths for allowing such a company like John Lewis borrow their lyrics. This will not end up like a Rage Against The Machine moment, will it? Evryone let’s bring some head rush to Christmas, and knock over all ‘socially cool’ people down with ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’

 Now excuse me, one is going back to watching Wham ‘Last Christmas’ music video, George what a man he was, was okay? Not is, was…

Peace,

Simone

Each and every record mentioned above is worth a trip to your local record store/itunes for, If you don’t go, I may just haunt you, I can do this. I am special. Honestly you won’t regret it (the buying I mean, not me haunting you.)

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Author: Simone

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